Something To Be Thankful For…

 

There were several times this week when I scribbled notes for a blog entry, and even sat down to write a days post but was distracted by Facebook messages and e-mails. 

When I find myself bummed out about something, and pep-talk myself back to realizing the beauty of my life, I often quickly forget and return to the old habits of thinking that led me to depression in the first place. 

The last message I wrote myself, No More Boring Weekends, was more than empty words on a page that sounded pretty.  It really is working, and I continue to find evidence of it’s efficacy.

I’m not even saying that I simply had a good week, because in many ways, it was difficult.  My pain level was up, I was very tired, and there were two days that I barely even got out of bed.  Threw on some shorts and a tank, pulled my hair back, and then laid back down on the sofa and slept to the TV.   That was after a mean Cardiac Profusion (Chemical Stress) Test.  The tech couldn’t get the IV in, and after 6 painful digs, asked “let me see your feet”

“Forget it!” I protested.  “Do I even need this test?…I want to talk to the doctor!”

The frustrated tech sat me in the hallway, Dr. Chang taking only a minute to address the issue.

“It must be done!”  he said in broken English. “This test will tell if you have blockage, and if you have heart attack during surgery. You can not have surgery without!”

“You be fine”, he went on, “It won’t hurt”

Famous last words.

The test is done in three parts: After placing an IV, a special x-ray is taken of the chest (heart); next, the tech injects the medication that “stresses” the heart and an EKG is performed; finally, radioactive tracers are injected and another x-ray is taken.  Between each, the patients were sent back to waiting room.

“Well then, don’t even make me walk back and forth to the waiting room!” I snapped back. 

“You got one chance” I told the tech sharply.  A good phlebotomist would have placed the IV correctly the first time, I was thinking to myself, so I had little faith in the techs technical abilities.  He stuck my foot and missed.  My eyes were closed tight, I took a big breath as he dug around and I squirmed.

“Hold it! I got it….don’t move” 

It hurt like hell, and I let him know it, along with a “You LIED!”

In the end, the test was completed, and I left with a big blue bruise on my foot.  I’ve jumped through every hoop the surgeon has thrown me.  This test put me down for a day or two, but in the end, I was thankful that I most likely will not have a heart attack while on the operating table. 

Now that’s something to be thankful for!

kimmarie