SHADES OF GRAY

All the things surrounding me
mean nothing much at all,
For what in Life left for me is hid behind a wall
Of Fate and Hope and Luck and Chance,
Of Happenings and Circumstance.

There’s safety in the still of night,
When no one else can see
The tears, the pain, the loneliness that life has left with me.
And I watch the colors fade away,
As life becomes Shades of Gray.

-kmarie

Some Notes of Gratitude

Kim Marie and The Green Association for Sustainability

THANK YOU … I am grateful for the 3,500 + of you that took the time to read my writings. 

THANK YOU – I am grateful for technology, which has opened up a world of literacy and creativity never before available.

THANK YOU – To NORML, and the other many similar groups fighting for basic human rights.

The ending of my dream before it reached even the lowest baseline I had hoped, is not due to one or two or even three problems with my health. It is an issue that has developed after years of abuse and malpractice by the medical community, particularly in the Southwest U.S.  In a complicated and dangerous open heart surgery, my tricuspid heart valve was replaced in 1998, in Phoenix, Arizona. With proper medical care, I was able to continue my University studies into Graduate School and beyond; I raised two wonderful children to adulthood.

I moved to Houston, the nearest big city, with grand hopes of Museums, Art, Culture, Opportunity…of big deals and important people, of talent and possibilities. 

And yes, they are all here.

What is missing is a little thing called health care.  If I were brave, I would tell you that I am homebound.  But I’m not that brave, and the words “HOMEBOUND” and “DEAD” have the same meanings for me. 

Giving up on dreams is so painful.  The only way to do it is to cut it out of myself. I have tried to find another path to take; yet I look deeply within and without and I see no road, no path, no trail, no footprints; there is no voice calling “Here!”.

There is no soft wind rustling through the trees and brush and vines that guard this unlit path. Hidden under the cover of lambs-wool, the dark eyes of malevolent wolves watch, and before I have discovered their ruse, they have scavenged the meat from my bones and left my carcass to rot.

 

kmarie